Written by Pola del Monte
First published in CNN Philippines Culture on Oct 29, 2020

 

Being pet parents has given millennials a glimpse of what it’s like to raise their own children.

Metro Manila (CNN Philippines Life) — Philip, the Mini Schnauzer puppy I brought home on the eve of the Enhanced Community Quarantine, eats “wild-caught flounder” and “free-run chicken” in kibble form, wears a houndstooth harness, and indulges in “pupcakes” (pup-friendly cupcakes) on his doggy friends’ birthdays. 

My pandemic lifestyle pales in comparison to his. Apart from the fact that I’ve never tasted flounder, these days I mostly wear pajamas in my new hermit life and celebrate birthdays only virtually, if at all. 

So for now, I live vicariously through Philip, who is more “child” to me than “pet.” 

If in the past, pets were relegated to the dog house and ate table scraps, today they enjoy an elevated status: regular grooming sessions, premium meals, and numerous trips to the vet that even exceed a human’s annual check-ups. 

Pet anthropomorphism is particularly pervasive in the millennial generation, which is notorious for delaying marriage and having children. A meme goes as far as saying: “Children are cancelled in 2020. Pets are the new children, and plants are the new pets.” 

 

Modern pet parenting 

I didn’t need to look far to validate this. Our neighbors, newlyweds Nicco and Iya Valen, treat their Jack Russell terrier Rulfo and Persian kitten Boots as their “toddler son and daughter.”

“They gave us a glimpse of each other’s parenting styles,” Iya said. “We realized who was likely to become the disciplinarian and who was likely to become the parent that spoils!” 

On Rulfo’s 1st birthday, Iya distributed pupcakes for dogs, and hotdog skewers for neighbors: a small gesture that would return a thousandfold. 

“Recently we were in and out of the hospital for a family emergency. On both occasions, it was mostly the pet owners in our neighborhood that checked up on us and made sure we were okay,” Iya reflected. “The pets were instrumental in bringing the community together, which was very helpful at a time when we needed a strong support system.” 

 

Mental health benefit of pets 

Pets have been proven by science to reduce stress, anxiety, depression and loneliness. 

In June, on a post on Facebook group “Who’s Your Pupper,” a 200,000-strong group of passionate pet lovers, Nurse Trisha Sulit talked about her “furbaby” Primo, a Golden Labrador. 

“Primo helps me with the anxieties I am experiencing right now. The pandemic really took its toll on my mental health. The broken system and even the little things bother me. Primo makes sure I get a good laugh everyday. Most days, it's heartbreaking to leave, but I know I have to continue to help flatten the curve and work hard so I can spoil him too. It's priceless whenever I come home to him (after disinfecting of course) because he greets me like I'm the best human in the world! He keeps me going despite all the hardships because I know that at the end of the day, I'll always have him to come home to.” 

 

Dog psychology 

Dog trainer Tony Xeru, known as The Canine Fixer, who studied dog psychology and behavior in the U.S., offers an explanation on why pets connect emotionally with humans. 

“Pets may not understand our language, but they understand us through our energy,” he said. “Whatever we are feeling, our dogs will feel that too. But unlike us, they won’t mope around all day. They live in the present moment. They don’t have attachment to emotions. They are great at moving on.” This quality helps humans forget their own 

He believes in the following hierarchy of needs for dogs: exercise, discipline, and affection (which includes feeding). In quarantine, he urges pet owners to leave their pets for certain periods of time to avoid separation anxiety. “If you don’t give your dog alone time,” he says, “they will never learn to be independent.”

Tony himself has six pets he shares with his Colombian wife Leidy, who is, serendipitously, also an animal lover. Having trained over 500 dogs throughout his career, he has reached the following conclusion: “You don’t get the dog that you want. You end up with the dog that you need. All dogs teach you something you need to learn in life.” 

The pandemic suppressed our nature as social creatures, but pets have given us a priceless gift: the grace of companionship in the tumult of isolation. 

“Just because they’re not the same species as us,” Tony says, “doesn’t mean they can’t be family.”